At the Beginning...

I was just laid off from a shitty seasonal job. My boyfriend just told me that our relationship is on thin ice. My parents want me out. I have nothing but my laptop, some good friends, student loans, and the shirt on my back. My story is not new, nor unique. In some ways it's as old as time itself. You may read this and choose to see failure. I am choosing survival.

So let me start at the beginning. In May I graduated with my Master's of Arts from a semi-prestigious public university. I had a hard time finding a job, my lease ran out, and I moved in with my boyfriend in Florida. Things weren't great but at least I had a home and someone who loved me. That's more than most people in this world. When August came, I could no longer pay my bills and had to move back home to MN. I left everything at home with my boyfriend. From August till yesterday I worked a shitty factory job in my home town. Every day I applied for new jobs. To be specific, I have applied for 75 positions (not counting the ones where you upload your resume and apply to multiple positions at once).

Everyday I heard about my high school classmates from their parents. "Well MY daughter has three kids and works." "MY son just bought his first house and just got married in June." I tried not to laugh in their faces. Being married, laden with a couple of kids, and paying mortgage payments at 25 is not for me. I just told people "I am saving up to move to D.C. My boyfriend is going to law school there."

Recently, I came to the realization that my boyfriend and I are no longer as close as we used to be. I burned him out with too many phone calls, asking too much, and planning things without talking to him. I bought my one way ticket before I came to this realization. I was laid off yesterday. I am devastated. I can't stop crying. I want to make things work out. Make my relationship work out, make my job work out, and, more importantly, make my life work out.

But on the same page, I suddenly am starting to feel that same sense of freedom I felt at 18. That sense of go anywhere, do anything. No rush to a career. Just because I have an MA in Art History does not mean that I have to refrain myself to a career in academia or in the art world. Why not move back to Florida and try and make this relationship work out? Why not work as a waitress or a CNA? Why not teach English in Prague? Why not work in hostels around the Pacific? Why not move to Boston and start over in a year or two? Thus, here I go. Armed with a laptop, the will to do what I want, and a limited savings account I am going to make my life an open book.