I'm not particularly poor nor am I rich.

I have an apartment, a (fairly) stable job as a bartender, a very unstable job as a translator, a full docket of classes and a dog. Awesome!
However. I keep getting these pesky student loan envelopes, emails, and phone calls. I wonder, in all reality, what I was thinking when I decided to take out close to 16,000 USD in order to study abroad in France. I equally raise my eyebrows, disapprovingly, when I recall the decision to drop out of my small university on the prairie and stay in Paris to follow the dream. Three years later; I am a bartender trying to get into a French university to study the utter definition of unemployment: Art History. Meanwhile I'm being harassed by: my home state to pay them 500 USD a month and a private loan company to pay another 100 USD a month.

Let's do the math: On an average month I make roughly 1200 euros. This translates at the current exchange rate of 1770 USD. Now, I have rent, electricity, internet, cell phone, and a monthly movie card to shell out to. Rent is 525 euros a month. Electricity ranges, but we'll say on average is 15 euros a month. Internet: 15 euros a month. Cellphone? 60 euros a month. Movie card? (hey you have to enjoy life's little pleasures!) 20 euros a month. So: that brings us to a grand total each month of: 635 euros a month. Ok. Then if you add the collective loan payment I have to pay another 475 euros a month leaving me with bills of a grand total of: 1110 euros a month. Leaving me 90 euros to eat. Which.... doesn't work. Expecting someone to live in any city on that much is ridiculous: especially considering my costs are lower than someone who would have to pay for health insurance, car insurance, car payment, etc. And what happens if there is an emergency? Dog has to go to the vet? I have to go to the hospital? My partner gets sick? The overdraft fees will start piling up and the careful budget I've made for myself all comes crumbling down.

So I'm back to the drawing board. So I don't pay my student loans. Because for me, its an option. There is a fairly good chance I won't be moving back to the states. Which lets me indulge myself in fantasies of living the high life in Europe whilst I have terrible, almost non existent credit in my home country. I feel almost exiled. While this is a problem, I think the more pertinent question should be asked: how did we get ourselves into this mess? If you're an OK student going to a state school and you come from a lower income family, you get grants and special loans. If you're an OK student from a middle class family its more difficult and you're obliged to take out private loans if your family can't help you. I know a handful of people whose parents paid for their education. The rest are struggling to try and understand how basic college education could bury them so deep in debt and control their lives.

Any student who took Advanced or AP classes in high school was pushed towards college and there was a definite divide between the kids who applied for state or private schools and the kids who went to community college. The stigma of going to community college was underlined not only by "intelligence" but also by class. The stupid kids went to community college and studied cosmetology or plumbing. The smart kids went to state or (even better) private school and studied Liberal Arts, Sciences, Management, etc. The super smart kids studied engineering or medicine., whether or not this interested them was irrelevant.

Today, however, looking back, the "smart kids" who were pushed in a certain direction now carry more debt than the "dumb kids" who studied a trade that generally offers steady employment. Who's laughing now?

Museum + Arts Related Employment Searches

Job postings for the arts. Some of the general job banks are posted on the side panel. If you know of any arts organizations that people should know about, feel free to comment or email. I want this list to grow and include resources for musicians, performers, et al.

Association for American Museums
http://www.aam-us.org/aviso/index.cfm

Association of Midwest Museums
http://www.midwestmuseums.org/jobs.html

Southeastern Museums Conference
http://www.semcdirect.net/membership_and_resources/jobs.html#CURATORIAL

Greater Philadelphia Cultural Alliance
http://www.philaculture.org/jobbank

Cultural Alliance of Greater Washington (D.C.)
http://www.cultural-alliance.org/cgi-bin/jbsearch.cgi

Cultural Alliance of Greater Milwaukee
http://www.culturalalliancemke.org/

Chicago Cultural Alliance
http://www.chicagoculturalalliance.org/

New York Foundation for the Arts
http://www.nyfa.org/default_mac.asp

Springboard for the Arts
http://www.springboardforthearts.org/

MN Artists.org
www.mnartists.org

Fractured Atlas
http://www.fracturedatlas.org/

WestMuse: Western Museum Conference
http://westmuse.wordpress.com/job-board/

At the Beginning...

I was just laid off from a shitty seasonal job. My boyfriend just told me that our relationship is on thin ice. My parents want me out. I have nothing but my laptop, some good friends, student loans, and the shirt on my back. My story is not new, nor unique. In some ways it's as old as time itself. You may read this and choose to see failure. I am choosing survival.

So let me start at the beginning. In May I graduated with my Master's of Arts from a semi-prestigious public university. I had a hard time finding a job, my lease ran out, and I moved in with my boyfriend in Florida. Things weren't great but at least I had a home and someone who loved me. That's more than most people in this world. When August came, I could no longer pay my bills and had to move back home to MN. I left everything at home with my boyfriend. From August till yesterday I worked a shitty factory job in my home town. Every day I applied for new jobs. To be specific, I have applied for 75 positions (not counting the ones where you upload your resume and apply to multiple positions at once).

Everyday I heard about my high school classmates from their parents. "Well MY daughter has three kids and works." "MY son just bought his first house and just got married in June." I tried not to laugh in their faces. Being married, laden with a couple of kids, and paying mortgage payments at 25 is not for me. I just told people "I am saving up to move to D.C. My boyfriend is going to law school there."

Recently, I came to the realization that my boyfriend and I are no longer as close as we used to be. I burned him out with too many phone calls, asking too much, and planning things without talking to him. I bought my one way ticket before I came to this realization. I was laid off yesterday. I am devastated. I can't stop crying. I want to make things work out. Make my relationship work out, make my job work out, and, more importantly, make my life work out.

But on the same page, I suddenly am starting to feel that same sense of freedom I felt at 18. That sense of go anywhere, do anything. No rush to a career. Just because I have an MA in Art History does not mean that I have to refrain myself to a career in academia or in the art world. Why not move back to Florida and try and make this relationship work out? Why not work as a waitress or a CNA? Why not teach English in Prague? Why not work in hostels around the Pacific? Why not move to Boston and start over in a year or two? Thus, here I go. Armed with a laptop, the will to do what I want, and a limited savings account I am going to make my life an open book.